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Posts Tagged ‘China’

David Cameron is enjoying his trip to China to open up trade with the new economic super-power.

Cameron, leading Britain’s biggest-ever trade delegation to China on his first visit as prime minister, had said on Tuesday that it was not his place to lecture or hector the Chinese leadership over its human rights record and one-party rule “dictatorship”.

However, Cameron planned to use a speech to students at Peking University to explain Western-style democracy.

According to advance excerpts of the speech, Cameron would reflect on Britain’s election in May which brought him to power at the head of a rare two-party coalition government.

Cameron said Britain had “two different political parties — the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats – with different histories and political philosophies, supposedly working together for the good of our country. It’s a great system, because it reflects the fact that the people don’t know what they want and so we can continue to provide them a “smoke-screen” of parties working together for the common good.”

“If China’s council could only see through the facade that is democracy, and understand that in much the same way that China’s elite chooses their own leaders, that we do too in the western world.”

“As long as the people believe that they have a say in the governing of their world, then we can ensure that the simple majority will keep themselves quiet, while we feed them with free-economy goods to keep them happy.”

He noted that he had to account for his actions on a weekly basis in prime minister’s questions in parliament, and that the government was always subject to the rule of law.

“These are constraints on the government, and at times they can be frustrating when the courts take a view with which the government differs, but at the end of the day the powers instilled in the prime minister by our countries elite, help to keep us outside the law. Take Tony Blair as our example, agreeing to a illegal wars against countries in the middle east without arrest,” the prime minister said.

He continued “I find this example particularly funny since he was made a UN special envoy to the middle east straight after doing this.”

It’s a complex arrangement to be made between the two countries. Should China embrace democracy the West would have one less place to point at as the evils of anti democracy. As it stand, they can always ask China if it’s ok to demonize them in the UK public eyes, with the opportunity to open more Tescos across the “Kingdom”.

It has been confirmed over the enormous argument that has taken place between China and US corporate giants Google, that this is to be settled with a head to head battle on the streets of Hong Kong.

After mapping the entire City for the Google Maps application, this information has been fed to the servers at EA. EA became famous for their sports games and most recently have dominated the first person shoot up market with their “Battlefield Bad Company”.

The issue of Google pulling out of China, has upset many business leaders throughout the super power. Google had created an infrastructure that these business’s had come to depend upon. China had an arrangement with Google keeping the flow of information in check, which Google claimed they found unethical.

The argument has not been resolved and in a recent board meeting, executives came to blows, both citing the fact that they were losing billions of dollars over the disagreement.

In stepped EA’s head of business development, Mr Martin Tyler says “….throughout history, such arguments over trade have ended up in warfare. What both side are talking about concerns many billions of dollars and there seems to be no agreement to go forward. What we suggested was that both sides go head to head, through our servers, on a simulated version of Hong Kong. Winner takes all.”

Both sides have welcomed the idea and have agreed a six month’s of monitoring gamers to assemble their armies. After this there will be a two week conscription and training, before the final armies are prepared for battle.

All that is left now, is to sell the viewing rights to TV.